I'm a doctor - trust me!

First of all, I want to make it clear that I don't want to knock the medical profession.  After all, my uncle was a doctor, my cousin is a doctor and many of my friends have been doctors.  However they are very busy people, and they can't possibly know everything there is to know about maintaining good health when their chief priority is dealing with bad health. At times they must be tempted to just scribble out a prescription and buzz the next patient in, especially when they know that the medication works.

I have a friend - let's call him Ian.  Ian has been a diabetic for 20 years and when he was first diagnosed he ventured to ask his doctor about the Low GI Diet.  His doctor dismissed this by saying it was far too complicated, so Ian has been insulin-dependent ever since.  Until recently, when his wife discovered a book about the Low GI Diet that wasn't complicated, and since then Ian's health has improved and he has been able to reduce the insulin.  It is still early days, but Ian is hopeful that this is working - if only he had been given this help 20 years ago!

As we get older, the chances of developing age-related medical conditions such as arthritis, high blood pressure, cardiac disease, joint pains, cancer - and of course diabetes - start to increase. Your doctor is there to help you when such problems arise, however who is there to help prevent such conditions occurring in the first place?  Only one person can do that - you.

My father had high blood pressure and was on medication until the day he died prematurely at the age of 47.  When my doctor told me that my blood pressure was a bit too high, I decided to lower it the natural way rather than relying on medication - after all, at the end of the day it hadn't prevented my father's death.  I use natural supplements, relaxation techniques, regular exercise, a healthy diet and sensible weight control amongst other methods.  Obviously I check my blood pressure on a regular basis, as if it does get too high I will need to go back to my doctor, but I see that as a last resort.

Of course we all need to use our common sense here: if you discover your blood pressure is dangerously high, please see your doctor immediately and don't try to self-medicate! Be wary of self-diagnosis too - in particular don't use the internet to replace your highly qualified doctor.  I am talking mainly of preventing these so-called age-related conditions in the first place, as well as using natural methods to improve your health if problems occur, hopefully allowing your doctor to either reduce or even stop your drugs.

When I worked as a complementary therapist, I always advised my clients to tell their doctor about their treatment and never to reduce their medication without their doctor's consent. After all, I  am not medically qualified and the key word here is "complementary" - I see natural medicine as working alongside conventional medicine rather than replacing it.

However I am a great believer in preventative methods such as regular exercise, a healthy and varied diet, and relaxation techniques.  Surely it is better to prevent, or at least delay, age-related health problems in the first place?  The internet is an excellent source of information, though please don't take everything that you read on a website as gospel (even this one!).  Research widely, and remember that some websites exist mainly to sell their own products, even though their general advice may still be very good.

If in doubt, do talk to your doctor.  You may need to be persistent if you want to use natural remedies, but emphasise that you aren't talking about replacing conventional medicine, just reinforcing it the natural way. He or she may not know everything, and if you have an old-school doctor they may be sceptical about complementary medicine, however doctors are one of the few professionals that most people still trust!

My best anti-ageing tip ever

I remember sitting on a bus in Newcastle when I was in my 30s, and glancing at the woman opposite me who looked like she was in her 60s.  Her mouth was turned down and every line on her face was drooping in a downwards direction.  I vowed then that I wouldn't look as miserable when I was her age.

My next memorable experience was seeing a photo of myself doing a cross-country run when I was in my 40s.  The photographer took me by surprise and the result was a picture of me looking as grim as I felt.  You could have pinned it up in a Police station with the caption: "Wanted.  This woman is on the run and is dangerous. Do not approach!"  it was that bad. I looked so old and haggard that after that I always ran with a smile on my face. Even when I was feeling weary towards the end of the London Marathon, I managed to smile when I saw my friend, and the resulting photo was surprisingly good considering I had reached mile 18.

These experiences taught me one important lesson about getting old: smile and you instantly look years younger.  Eventually you end up with the face you deserve, so if you are always friendly and smile at people at least any lines will be laughter lines.  You may not be able to afford or even want a face lift, but if you smile at people your eyes look brighter, your face is instantly uplifted and you look a lot younger.  Not only that, it makes you feel good and it makes other people feel even better.  Plus - an additional bonus for those of us who are no longer earning money - a smile costs nothing!  Please share your own anti-ageing tips with us, especially those that don't involve spending lots of money on expensive creams.

Michelle Obama not looking too happy!

Michelle looking her usual lovely self!

Fashion savvy - or fashion victim?

Many of us over 60s are still very interested in fashion and don't want to be seen as frumpy and dumpy, but how do we avoid falling into the trap of slavishly following the latest trends and becoming a fashion victim instead?

Take the current trend for wearing fluorescent colours.  I like bright colours and could easily be tempted, but a lime green top or shocking pink blouse worn next to an ageing face is not a flattering look.  Trust me, I've tried them on!  I remember fondly the purple miniskirt and shocking pink top that I wore in the sixties, but I was young enough to get away with it then.  Sadly, that is no longer the case!

If I want to indulge myself and succumb to this trend  then I need to restrict myself to brightly coloured bangles or maybe a lime green clutch bag.  As for wearing bright colours on my bottom half - even if I was still skinny it wouldn't flatter my legs and it is a fashion trend best avoided.  As is the trend for patterned trousers, unless I want to look like a clown.

Motel Jordan Stretch Jeans from Next
Do not be tempted!

I subscribe to newsletters from Wallis as they have a good petite range, but I need to bear in mind that not all  of their styles will necessarily suit me.  It is good to have an idea about the latest fashions, but although I like their bold, bright print collection "Hot Tropics", I have to be realistic and accept that some styles will simply overwhelm me as I am only 5' 1".

I also buy a weekly Spanish magazine called Mia, which is particularly useful as, if I see clothes that I like, I know that I can buy them over here.  Last week's magazine featured "plumas" (feathers) as one of the latest trends: needless to say I turned that page over quickly.  Any ladies of a certain age reading this - believe me, a feathery skirt won't make you look fashionable, it will just make you look ridiculous.  This is a trend for teens and twenties only, in my opinion.  Do you agree?

Saturday night out, Spanish style

Occasionally we decide to blow the budget and have a special night out together, like we did last Saturday.  We paid the princely sum of 20€ each for tickets to "Música entre Vinos" at Bodegas Bleda, which was one of a series of concerts held in local wineries.

Our friends Lesley and John kindly picked us up at 8pm and drove us there as the bodega is out of town.  The evening was supposed to begin at 8pm with a tour of the bodega, but we have visited it before so we didn't need to do the tour.  Besides which, this is Spain and punctuality is pretty rare!

The concert by Oché Cortés was very good: it was billed as an evening of "boleros", which we realised was music that you can cha-cha to as soon as an elderly couple started dancing.  We would probably describe Oché as a crooner - and he was also a bit of a comedian, judging by the laughter from the mainly Spanish audience whenever he spoke.  He was accompanied by a very talented pianist too, whose name escapes me.

We sat outside on a beautiful July evening, surrounded by people of all ages, and realised how lucky we are to be living here.  Lesley summed it up: great music and a great atmosphere.  Our only complaint was that we didn't get to sample the wines and have some food until after the concert finished at quarter to eleven!  By this time, the rosado wine was frozen in the ice bucket, so clearly the caterers had expected the concert to be finished earlier too.

The food was typical of this area: lots of empanadas (savoury pastries similar to Cornish pasties, but usually containing tuna, potato and egg), local goats cheeses, jamón and other cold meats, tortilla squares, all accompanied by the (very) chilled rosado wine, white wine and the award-winning Divus red wine.

We eventually got home at about one, having had a great evening's entertainment with lots to eat and drink: we definitely got our money's worth.  The good news is that we are going to another concert in a different bodega this coming weekend.  How do you like to spend your Saturday nights?

A cut above

How do you choose a flattering hairstyle when you reach a certain age?  Should you go grey gracefully or are you dyeing to try out a new colour?  There are certain rules, but my mantra is that rules are made to be broken and we are all individuals anyway.

Rule number one is to go several shades lighter as you become older.  I have tried this however I prefer myself darker, as somehow that is more "me".  My daughter Kate also feels that I look younger when my hair is darker, even though that is against the rules.  What do you think?

A lighter shade of pale

This is my natural colour - more or less!

Rule number two is to keep your hair shorter, which is what I do.  The reasons I follow this rule are: my hair is very fine, so if it's too long it loses any shape; I am vertically challenged and long hair doesn't suit me as much. However many older women keep their hair long and it suits them. Jane Seymour, Raquel Welch and Goldie Hawn spring to mind.

Rule number three is to spend the most money you can afford on a good cut. This is certainly a rule that all chic Frenchwoman follow religiously.  Living in a Spanish town for the last four years, this has proved to be challenging at times, even apart from the language difficulties.  No self-respecting Spanish hairdresser will let you leave without blow drying your hair into submission, adding as much volume as possible, and emptying most of the contents of the hairspray onto your locks.  I have found a new hairdresser who so far seems willing to listen to my requests, and who limits the amount of hairspray - though this may be more to do with the financial "crisis" here than the whims of her customer.

 Rule number four is to listen to any advice, but reject it unless it resonates with you.  My Spanish hairdresser is a case in point.  When she suggested cutting my hair even shorter I thought it might look a bit harsh on me, however as it is now very hot here in Spain I agreed, on the basis that I can grow it back again.  My friend Lesley's daughter told her in no uncertain terms that her hair looked dreadful and to get it sorted!  She was exaggerating, of course, but now that Lesley has had a decent cut and her hair is a flattering light shade she looks years younger.

The usual aches and pains

I remember my friend Sandra saying, when we were both in our early fifties, "I've got the usual aches and pains, that's all.  It's to be expected at our age".  I was a year older than her and my immediate response was "No!  It's not normal to be suffering from aches and pains, even if you are over 50.  See your doctor and sort it out!"

Now that I am over 60, I can state categorically that I still don't suffer from the "usual aches and pains", and certainly not on a daily basis.  The last time we visited our local castle, which involved going up and down a lot of steep steps, I didn't have any problems coping with them.  The following day though my legs felt a bit stiff, but there was a good reason for that and I was back to normal two days later.

John and I walk a lot every day, partly because we live on the edge of town and it's a ten minute walk to the nearest shop and partly because we have a dog to exercise.  When we lived in the UK we both did a lot of running, however it's too hot at the moment for running to be enjoyable so we now prefer to go out for a walk.  I think the fact that we have taken regular exercise over the years has helped to keep us fit and warded off potential aches and pains.  I also think that regular exercise has stopped us getting overweight, which is another factor in many age-related problems.  That was certainly the case for my friend Sandra, who never walked if a car was available, and unfortunately had the extra weight to prove it!

Running the Race for Life 3km, at the age of 63

Do you agree that regular walking helps to delay the onset of age-related health problems?  My mother walked everywhere, and she also played badminton every week, even in her eighties. She was a great role model for anyone wanting to be healthy in their later years. Should we all expect to be pain-free in our sixties and later, and not just accept it as part of ageing?  My mother hardly ever had to visit her doctor, and certainly didn't complain of any aches and pains, but as well as taking regular exercise she was always very slim.

Do you have any other tips for staying fit and healthy in your sixties? If so, please share them with us.

French style

It seems only appropriate to write about French style on Bastille Day.  As a young woman I always wanted to achieve that elegant, effortless look that all Frenchwomen in the media seemed to possess.  As an older woman I realise that in most cases it was probably the result of a lot of effort!

I remember the bitter disappointment I felt when I looked around my first French market, hoping to buy some chic clothes at bargain prices.  I seemed to be surrounded by the same cheaply made, unflattering clothes that I could find in any English market.  I fared slightly better in French clothes shops though and whenever we travel to Paris or elsewhere in France I leave room in my suitcase to bring my latest French fashion find back with me.

So, bearing in mind my lack of style nous, how can I possibly give you advice on how to be chic the French way?  First of all, there are a few obvious guidelines.  After that, all I can do is point you in the right direction  and share some of the helpful resources that I have found.

1.  Baggy isn't stylish.  Unless you are nine months' pregnant, in which case it will be obvious, but what you don't want is to look pregnant when you're clearly not.  Which probably covers all of us who are over 60.  If you want to wear a loose top, make sure that your skirt or trousers are slim-fitting. If you are going to wear wide-fitting trousers or a full skirt, your top should be a snug fit.

2.  On the other hand, avoid tight-fitting clothes.  Tight clothes are not a good look unless you are young and slender, which I for one am not.  Clothes that skim but don't cling to the body are far more flattering.  Trust me on this one - I have some unflattering photos to prove the point!

3.  Take care with the colours that you wear.  In my thirties, and even in my forties, I could wear bright blues, pillar-box red, lime green - most of the colours of the rainbow in their brightest hues.  However I have noticed that even young Frenchwomen wear more subtle shades (with the occasional flash of colour) and now I am over 60 I have realised that less can definitely be more.  I still wear blue, red and green but these shades are now toned down a bit to suit my older skin.

Catherine Denueve - still looking chic
at the age of 68

4.  Don't be a fashion victim.  This is even more important when ra-ra skirts come back into fashion:, as they weren't a good idea even the first time round.  Yes, by all means read the fashion pages, but use your common sense.  If leopardskin prints are the latest trend, don't dress head to toe in it, though you may want to consider buying a leopardskin scarf or bag.

5.  Buy the best basics that you can afford, going for classic styles in neutral shades that won't date.  A well-cut jacket, skirt and trousers could form the basis of your wardrobe, depending on your lifestyle. If you live in the UK, you may be advised to spend money on a decent trench-coat and boots!  With quality basics, you can liven them up with fashionable touches to give them a different look each year.

6. Plunging necklines and ultra short skirts never look chic, and especially not when combined.  As an older woman you don't want to be stared at for the wrong reasons, so although there's nothing wrong with emphasising your assets, please do so subtly.

7. Black can look very chic, and cheap clothes usually  look better in black than in other colours.  Ask any Frenchwoman.  But if black drains all the colour out of your face and makes you look older, then restrict it to your bottom half and wear more flattering colours close to your face.  

So now to check out the style experts, and where better to start than with the French model Ines de la Fressange, author of "Parisian Chic"?

Check out Parisian style at: http://www.rogervivier.com/en/#/ines-little-diaries.


A blog for women of a certain age who are seeking Parisian style is: http://www.unefemme.net/.

Or take a look at: http://afemmeduncertainage.blogspot.com.es/.

What do you think makes Frenchwomen so stylish?  Do you have any favourite blogs?  Please leave your comments below to help all of us!