Let's be kind to ourselves

I can't stress enough the importance of kindness in our lives. Not only kindness towards others, important though that is, but being kind to ourselves. 

Let me start with myself. I haven't been posting on my blog since last year and I've been feeling guilty. Why haven't you written anything? Is it because you're not only Over 60 but you're now well Over 70? Don't you have anything interesting to share with others? Who wants to see my latest capsule wardrobe anyway? Recently I've realised that I enjoy writing as a hobby, even if nobody reads my blog, so hopefully I will be posting on a more regular basis for the rest of the year. I'm being kind to myself.

Now that I'm heading towards my 77th birthday, I've started researching ways to live a long and healthy life. I'm fortunate that I'm still reasonably fit and healthy and long may it continue! I've been reading a lot about the Blue Zones where locals in five different countries lead long and healthy lives. Amongst the nine significant factors in their lives, eating a healthy diet, moving a lot (that doesn't necessarily mean going to the gym!) and connecting with others were areas where I feel I can make a beneficial change to my life.

Recently I decided to join Dr David Hamilton's free online course The Biology and Contagiousness of Kindness. I subscribe to David's newsletter and when I found out about this course I decided it was right for me, especially as he emphasises how kindness can have a positive impact on our health. Did I tell you that I'm looking forward to celebrating my 100th birthday? Only 23 years to go!

Kindness can consist of small things like holding the door open for someone, letting somebody go ahead of you in the supermarket queue, thanking the cashier, smiling at people in the street - these are all little things that can make other people feel better, but will also make you feel better. When you see what your kindness has done to someone else and how it's made them happy, you feel happy too.

There is also the ripple effect. If you are kind to someone, that person is more likely to be kind to someone else. The person they've been kind to is also likely to show kindness to others. Kindness is contagious! So let's start spreading kindness today.

My word of the year: NOW

Did I ever mention my habit of procrastination? My ability to decide something doesn't have to be done today when I can easily do it tomorrow. I'm guessing that you can see which way I'm heading in my search for a suitable Word of the Year? Yes, that's why I've decided on NOW for my word of the year 2023.

 If you appreciate irony, you might smile at the fact that I started this post several days ago! However I am working on it NOW and intend to finish it today.

I think the COVID years have made us all appreciate that it's more difficult to plan for the future, and we don't want to get stuck in the past - talking about the way things used to be - so living in the present is the way to go.

If I made New Year's resolutions, I think it would have to be to "live in the present". Memories are wonderful (and I'm slightly addicted to Facebook's Memories) but we all need to move forward. Planning for the future is also positive, though nothing can be certain nowadays. The answer to true happiness is to enjoy each day as it happens.

Make the most of each moment. If you're meeting friends for coffee, appreciate their friendship, listen to what they say and have a good time with them. If you're out for a walk with your dog, look around you and enjoy the trees, flowers and birds that you see, as well as the company of your pet. If you're at home having a meal, realise how lucky you are to be able to buy food and cook it, as well as savouring each mouthful. 

My overall theme for this year is to be healthy in mind. body and spirit. I am starting by eating more natural foods, which for January will be purely vegetarian and exclude fish, and to avoid processed food. I am also not drinking alcohol for the rest of the month, even though I live in a town that is renowned for its wine! I already take part in several online exercise classes, including Tai Chi and dancing, which I love doing so it's no hardship to continue with them. Finally I am starting to practise EFT/tapping and meditation. I believe that living in the present, concentrating on what is happening NOW, will add to my healthier lifestyle.

Do you have a word of the year? Have you made any New Year's resolutions? Please leave your comments below.

Finally, I'd like to wish you all a very happy and healthy 2023!

Let's enjoy Colourful Friday!

Is your Inbox being inundated with Black Friday offers? Mine too! I've just walked home from my local shopping centre where Black Friday notices were on display in most shop windows. Are you tempted by all these amazing bargains? Me too! However I'm trying to resist temptation by asking myself the following questions.

• Do I really need that sparkling jumpsuit? In my case, extremely unlikely!
• Would I be willing to pay full price for it?
• Am I likely to use it or wear it on a regular basis? How many items do you have either hanging up in your wardrobe unworn or shoved to the back of a cupboard?
• Is it an ethical purchase? Remember that even more expensive brands aren't necessarily produced ethically.
• If it's an item of clothing, will it go with several other pieces in my wardrobe or will I need to buy other items to go with it? 

I'm also using the "one in, one out" rule when I go shopping. I take a shopping list with me (always a good idea if you're over 60 and becoming forgetful!)  to remind me what I need and to help me stay on track. When I get home with any new purchase, I ensure that an existing item goes into the recycling. 

Of course if there's something you really need, this is the time to look for good deals. My friend Lesley needs a new washing machine so is delighted at the prospect of saving some money.

I'm in the process of having another wardrobe clear-out so I should be able to spot any gaps in my wardrobe, although being totally honest I think it's highly unlikely! I'm now putting together my winter capsule wardrobe too, so if I do decide to buy any clothes or accessories I will be able to choose wisely. Black isn't a good colour for me (which is why this post is about Colourful Friday), but I still have plenty of options and if I stick to my capsule wardrobe palette I shouldn't go wrong.

Please let me know what you think. Will you be going on a spending spree for Black Friday?

Growing old gracefully - or disgracefully?

 Actress Anita Dobson was criticised for wearing a short dress to last month's British Soap Awards. The critics claimed she was too old to be showing off her legs at the age of 73. Anita's response was that if you feel happy and comfortable, that's it. She happens to be a year younger than me, and I totally agree with her. Of course there are limits, but it's our choice, not the choice of the critics, that really matters.

It's very much an individual decision, however I do find it sad that some women feel they need to change once they are over a certain age, for fear of being branded as "mutton dressed as lamb". Most of us aren't likely to wear revealing tops or short skirts but we don't have to go to the other extreme and dress frumpily.  One of my favourite colours is red as seen in the outfit below. Does it say "look at me"? Is it too bright for a women who is now over 70? Maybe, but I'm still going to wear it even when I'm in my 80s as, for me, it's my happy colour. 

One of my role models is the actress Helen Mirren, who is a couple of years older than me, but definitely doesn't look it. She doesn't try to hide her age, but she always looks amazing, whether she has dyed her hair pink or she's wearing a stunning red dress. The fashion designer Zandra Rhodes, with many famous clients over the years, is another ageless celebrity, renowned for her pink hair and bright clothes, . I'm tempted to have my own hair dyed pink, but I'm not sure whether it will go well with my red dress. Perhaps bright blue would be a better choice for me?

What all these women have in common is a recognisable style and the confidence to stand out in a dull world of classic clothes. Of course they are all celebrities in the public eye, but there's no reason why we can't enjoy our own style too, even if it's slightly more subdued! 

I'll be 75 in September, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to start wearing neutral colours and fading into the background. I do have plenty of neutrals in my wardrobe, but I also have that bright blue jacket, my favourite short red trench-coat and plenty of other colours hanging up in my wardrobe. 

So what about you? Do you plan to grow old disgracefully, just like me? Or is growing old gracefully more your style?

Love is in the air!

Valentine's Day seems to be an appropriate day to start my journey in search of love in 2022. Now, before my regular readers gasp in horror, this doesn't mean joining dating agencies or online websites such as Tinder! I'm talking about loving my life here in Spain, loving my friends and family and in particular - something we all tend to neglect - loving myself. I'm sure many of you can identify with the last point. It's too easy to forget about yourself and concentrate on making others happy or even to become self-critical, so this year let's change things round. Start loving ourselves! I hope that you will decide to join me and start loving yourselves too. Trust me, we are worth it.

It's a long while since I've posted and it's actually the first time this year. My previous post was about Joy and this seems to be a continuation of that theme. What gives you joy? In my case it's spending time with my family and friends, walking with Lisa in the countryside, listening to music, dancing, writing and travel. These are some of the many things that I love doing, so doing more of them will be part of my plan for self-love in 2022.

Writing this post is important for me as, now I've told you all about my plan for 2022, I have to follow it through and promise to give you an update at the end of the year. I enjoy the process of writing, so this is a good start. I often write about my capsule wardrobe, which I'm in the middle of updating and, as part of this, I'm trying to declutter. Not so easy for a hoarder! 

I'm sure that many of you will have heard about Marie Kondo and her method of tidying your home, known as the KonMari Method®. Recently I've been watching a series of workshops given by Hester Van Hien of Tidylicious, which have inspired me to declutter my home and not just my wardrobe. Two key things when deciding whether to keep something are: does it inspire joy?; do I love it? This seems to fit in very well with my 2022 theme. I love the idea of living in a clutter-free home with a tidy wardrobe so this is my first project of the year.

I'm hoping that this year will give me plenty of opportunities to spend time with friends and family. It started very well with a visit from my friend Liz en route to Malaga, where she is staying for a few months. Not only did I enjoy having her here for a week, but so did my dog Lisa! I have many good friends where I live in Jumilla too, of all nationalities, so I meet them for coffee several times a week, with the occasional glass of wine and tapas.

I'm fortunate that the weather here is pretty good, though we occasionally get sub-zero temperatures in the evenings during the winter. I live on the edge of town, so Lisa and I are able to walk in the countryside. I love the connection with nature, spring being one of my favourite seasons as the trees start blossoming.

Music and dancing make me feel happy, so they will fit in very well with practising self-love this year. One of my favourite Zoom classes in The Joy Club is Tracie's Solo Dancing, where I can lose myself in the joy of dancing every week : Lisa seems to enjoy watching me too! I find that if I'm feeling tired, lonely, sorry for myself, stressed out (we all have negative emotions at times) putting on my favourite music immediately revives me. It might be classical music, jazz or rock 'n roll, depending on my mood.

I have a very important birthday coming up in September (75, in case you want to know!) so I'm planning to visit my family in the UK to celebrate, with a possible trip to Paris. As I love Paris, this will definitely be an act of self-love too. I had to cancel a planned journey through France by train in 2019 due to Covid, so I'm hoping that this year I'll be luckier.

I trust that you don't think this is being selfish, as I strongly believe that the more we love and care for ourselves, the more love we have to share with others. Happiness is definitely contagious! Do let me know what plans you have for 2022 and whether you will join me in my journey through a year full of love. Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Let's be joyful!

 

As winter rapidly approaches, the days becoming shorter and the weather being gloomier, you may very well ask: what is there to be joyful about? Happiness and joy are, of course, very individual emotions. What makes me happy may not have the same effect on you. If you're a summer person and love to lie on the beach, you're probably dreading the arrival of winter. If, on the other hand, you like to curl up on the sofa in front of a roaring fire enjoying a good book, you may be in your element during the winter months.

2021 hasn't been the easiest of years for many of us, especially with the impact of the coronavirus pandemic. It's been particularly hard for me as I live alone in Spain and my children all live in London, however I'm grateful for the companionship of my small Spanish dog Lisa, who has saved my sanity - though also driving me mad at times! I'm also fortunate enough to have a computer with internet access, so I've enjoyed Zoom chats with my family as well as with several friends who live in the UK. The highlight of the year though was being able to visit my family in London during October to celebrate my son's 50th birthday and spend time with my granddaughter there, plus going to Lincoln the following weekend for my brother's 70th birthday. 

The Joy Club is one thing that definitely brings joy to my life! I joined at the beginning of this year and found it a life-saver when I was unable to go to the local gym or socialise with friends in person because of lockdown. It's aimed at people who are retired (or semi-retired) and based in the UK, however although I currently live in Spain I have a UK bank account and was able to join. I have enjoyed making new online friends through the activities that I take part in.

If you decide to join, you can get your first month's membership for free by clicking on this link and, by entering this code: JzBCC6wBx1, you can get an additional free month. More than enough time to fill your life with joy by trying out all the activities! In case you're concerned about the cost, you can then enjoy lots of online sessions for only £5 per month. My favourite classes are Creative Writing, Tai Chi, Zumba, Cardio with Jill and Solo Latin dancing with Tracie. You can also take advantage of special offers for members even if you don't want to pay for online classes.

Now that restrictions are easing in Jumilla, the town that I call home, I have the joy of being able to meet up again with both British and Spanish friends for coffee, tapas and the occasional menù del dìa in our local bars and restaurants. Music also brings me joy so I was delighted to see that our local theatre is planning concerts to celebrate Santa Cecilia, the patron saint of music.

Finally, I really enjoy writing and blogging, though I haven't written any posts for a while. I hope that writing this will inspire me to continue with my blog. It's definitely time for me to sort out my winter wardrobe so watch this space for my next capsule wardrobe post! 

To summarise, the key things that bring me joy are (in no particular order!): spending time with family and friends, even if it's only online; keeping myself fit and active through activities such as Zumba, Tai Chi, dancing and walking my dog Lisa; being able to sit outside in the sunshine with friends enjoying a coffee; writing; music and travel. I'd love to hear what brings you joy as well, so please feel free to comment below.

 

Creating my Summer Capsule Wardrobe

Here it is! I've been sorting out my wardrobe now that summer has arrived and you can see the main items of clothing below. The basic pieces are in olive, soft white, navy and light caramel although my accent colours as you can see below are coral and red. I do love a splash of colour, as my regular readers know, and especially in the summer months. The new trousers on the right below are currently in the dry cleaners being shortened - even though I bought them in short rather than regular. Don't ask!

Basic summer capsule pieces

New linen trousers

It's now officially summer. I know that many of us enjoy going on holiday at this time of the year however, although things have improved slightly due to the rollout of the Covid vaccination programme, some of us will only be having staycations. I would still recommend having a clear out and creating a summer capsule wardrobe though, if only to make life simpler.

There are numerous videos on YouTube, blogs on the internet and even books written about the benefits of having a capsule wardrobe. Many of them dictate exactly what you need to include in this capsule, but what if you never wear little black dresses and don't fancy a white button-down shirt? Exactly!

My advice is to consider all of the following factors when designing your capsule and make it completely your own, not somebody else's vision of what is right.

Lifestyle. Do you still go out to work and, if so, is there a dress code in your workplace? You don't want numerous pairs of jeans if you only wear them at the weekend. Are you a stay-at-home mother or grandmother? Then you probably want casual clothes that don't crease or stain easily when small hands clutch at you.

Style personality. Are you a classic, romantic, dramatic or natural? These are some of the words used to describe your style personality. If you're not sure, look on Pinterest for celebrities whose style you feel drawn to, or pull out items from your wardrobe that you love wearing or that friends have commented on, saying how much they suit you. Capsule wardrobes are often based on the classic style, but if you're a dramatic you'd soon become bored with it. Your clothes should reflect your style personality and your individuality.

Body shape. This is something that I always have to consider, as I'm a rectangle (bordering on an apple at the moment!) and I'm also short, being a fraction over 5' tall. You may notice that there is a bohemian type green and white blouse in my wardrobe. It's not the ideal shape for me, but it's lovely and loose - and more importantly cool! - so that's why I've added it in. I'll wear it with straight-legged white trousers or possibly the green skirt, to keep my silhouette as narrow as possible. Did I mention that rules are there to be broken? If in doubt though, choose clothes that enhance your body shape rather than hiding it. If you are curvy, with a waist, then why not show it off?

Colour. I've saved the best to last. You may have discovered the ideal capsule wardrobe for you through researching the various options, but if it includes lots of black and white and those colours don't flatter you, then please adapt it to include your best colours. I've included several neutrals in my capsule as they are versatile colours and tend not to date, but I know that I'd start becoming bored if that's all I had. You may of course be different, especially if you're a classic or natural. It's often a matter of mood as well. There are some days where I'm happy to wear just navy and white and not stand out. Other days, I need that red or coral to make me feel happy and confident.

Did I mention de-cluttering? That's my next important task, now that I've created my summer capsule wardrobe. As I bought a couple of new pieces, I need to remember my one in - one out rule.

If you want any more inspiration, I highly recommend taking a look at The Vivienne Files for some lovely colour combinations and you can even include 33 pieces (Project 333) if my capsule is too limited for you!